goals.

Be "inconsistent"...

was Wednesday's goal.

~~~~

We're stuck in a rutt!

Our routine had become too predictable!

Huh? How could this be? Too much routine?

Your talking to me, and I thrive with order & knowing what to expect.

I believe many people do, especially [my] children.

It provides structure & a feeling of safety and security.

This is especially important for T. who is in the very beginning stages of grasping the concept of provided safety and care.

So we did NOT go totally away from routine but added some "zest" to it

To assist in getting us out of our RUTT.

To keep us from knowing what to expect and sabotaging it.

[zest·ed, zest·ing, zests: To give zest, charm, or spirit to.]

It would give me the chance to be the "fun" momma I once was,

and still maintain an atmosphere of safety. :D

Win-win!

~~~~~

I readied myself to "throw things off" a bit. lol!

I still had the usual breakfast at the table when T. woke

but I was wearing rolled up pants, flip flops and had a flower in my hair

We listened to loud 80's music

which I can't help but dance & sing-a-long to... =)

We headed outdoors shortly after breakfast instead of waiting until the afternoon.

I filled the kitchen with the aroma of fresh popped popcorn, that we enjoyed for snack.

Took a different route to school & back, driving by friends house - and excitedly honked

and waved while doing so!

~~~~~

I wish I could report the day went exactly according to plan.

I can say, I had FUN being a little more spontaneous than usual...

popping popcorn in the morning time.

taking in Spring like fresh air before doing much else.

wearing a flower in my hair & my favorite; flip flops :)

~~~

Unfortunately however, T. was not enjoying one bit of mom's "fun" side.

She became agitated.

Her aggravation led to a "fight" response.

And our day went down hill :(

Our goal to add a little "zest" to our day was thrown to the wind

and we were in survival...

Both of us!

Now doing everything it took to keep my [fighting] little girl & myself safe.

The day wasn't a complete loss...

All the kids enjoyed the popcorn snack awaiting them after school.

I listened to some good music I hadn't listened to in a long time.

S & I got in some dancing together :)

And though the result wasn't exactly what we hoped for,

T. WAS bumped out of her rutt!

I also think she now believes I am STRONG enough to take care of her

and all the big uglies she's holding on to.

~~~~

For better or worse, we're now back to the more familiar routine again.

Thankful for the forward strides we made.

So much more thankful we don't walk this journey alone!

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go... I will not leave you until

I have done what I have promised you."

Genesis 28:15

  

Not Normal {Black & White}

When I see this.

I go back.

Go back to the peace, stillness, and kindness that I see.

'T' has been home about 20 months now, and it's harder than ever.

My brothers play so nicely, and give each other new ideas. Especially with their legos.

The quietness that my mom used to have, and not have to worry about.

But no matter how hard our day is we trust God is helping us through it.

He brought 'T' to us, and we love her so much.

What we used to have was "normal". And we're not normal. God doesn't want us to be "normal".

So as I see these moments, simply when my brothers are playing.

I go back. We go back. To the moments without our 'T'.

She has strengthened us and while we try to teach her, she has also taught us.

Thank you Jesus for all you do. You truly do find families for the lonely.

~Michlyn

God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. Psalm 68:6 NLT

Wordless Wednesday

GOOD things come in small packages...

Okay, so the start of our day was GOOD.

And it was nice.

But, you know that saying "GOOD things come in small packages"?

I think it appropriaately applies to our day today.

I am still thankful to the peaceful start to our day,

it however was just for a little while :(

~~~~

I love chocolate!

I suppose though, if I ate the whole bag all in one sitting,

the "sweet" gift of chocolate would really no longer taste quite as sweet.

I know, I grasping here...

Trying desperately to keep hold of the blessing this GOOD morning was :)



Thankful for the blessing a little ray of sunshine is amidst some hard days.

I am still blessed,

Becky

GOOD morning.

[This is for you, K.:) ]

For the first time in a long time my morning started out GOOD.

We had a very busy day yesterday and some pretty tough days before that,

I often wake with not-so-happy-anticipation of what the day's going to hold. :(

But today, I woke early & didn't let the days probable "chaos" get me down.

I kind of  feel chipper.

And believe ir or not, even some of my non-morning people woke with more "sun-shining" today!

DJ, who typically doesn't speak until sometime after 9, was smiling & talkative, before 7:30am - well, talkative for him :) He even cracked a joke or two... GOOD morning!

Maybe this "GOOD attitude" stuff wears off on one another ;)

Who would of thought????

I'm not expecting a perfect day, but rejoicing in the GOOD start of this morning.

Thanking God for all "gifts" ... big & small!

"He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

Psalm 40:3



deflated

It's been another one of those days

A couple things have changed to heighten the emotions around here;

We live in Minnesota, and we got Snow, which really is the first significant snow of the season!

Mostly though, it's been the "fun" kind...

It's nice enough outside to get out and enjoy it,

the snow is sticky - perfect for snowman & fort building.

Due to the icy roads, school was even closed for a day this week,

presenting the perfect opportunity for us all to go out to play in it :)

So what's the problem you ask???

_______________________________________________

Weather is a Trigger

As we experience a big snowstorm here in Minnesota, I am reminded how much weather is a trigger for our kids. Weather is a sensory event and therefore connected to sensory memory, not verbal memory. As intentional parents, we have to consider the fact that weather can trigger that high-alert (limbic) system in our children. It might seem like a good idea to send a kid out to play in all of this new snow, but that's based on our experiences and our nonverbal history, not necessarily theirs. The same goes for the other seasons that bring many weather conditions. Weather is such a sensory experience...all the way from feeling the sun's heat on your skin to the taste of snowflakes and every rumble and raindrop in between.


These last few months have been so weird weather-wise and so unpredictable. So remember that if your kids are fighting you about going outside, forget how to put their boots on, or lose it when they come inside, they may have been triggered and sent to hight alert - a place where it is hard to come back from.

Identifying when our children have been triggered is key to addressing negative behaviors in a way that will keep life manageable and peaceful. If you would like to explore your child's triggers and set a plan in place to address them with specific tools and techniques, just go to www.tohavehope.com to reserve your coaching session

Hope Connections / Stacy Manning / http://www.tohavehope.com/ / Post Adoption Support

________________________________________________

I no more than read the words above and our day was off to a hard start :(

T. struggled to obey.

She became unwilling and unable to ready herself to go outside & refused help.

I found myself in need of many deep breaths.

We managed to get her outside, and for some time she definitely enjoyed the freshair & play time.

(Thanking God for little successes.)

~~~~~

Unfortunately, however, the turning of the calendar seems to be causing much turmoil as well.

I've mentioned a short time ago we would hit some painful anniversaries for T in the coming months

March is one of them.

So as we flipped the calendar once again,

many of us anticipate days of melting snow & more sunshine.

A time of year we begin planning for fresh starts & new life.

T. is filled with ANXIETY, fear & doubt

She pushes loved ones away, as she imagines whats in store for her this month & each month after that.

Trust is thin.

Pain is raw.

So much of this day proved to be a battle.

I felt like a "punching bag" in more ways than one 

...And I'm deflated...

~~~~

Praying

 for brighter days ahead.

for healing.

for restoration.

 for building trust.

and excepted care & love.

So very thankful for loving encouragement & the renewed strength in the words of His truth!

Thank you Jody for your willingness to care for me & my family, in all it's many forms.

I am We are blessed!

~~~~~

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I will delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulities.

For when I am weak, than I am strong.

II Corinthians 12:9-10

Thoughtful Thursday - Hattie Girl

I seem to lack on taking pictures of our golden retriever 'Hattie'. We call her "Hattie Girl", as a little nickname. She's really smart, and we love her a lot! She's 4 years old, and does some pretty neat tricks. But yesterday, after playing and running around in the snow - She got pretty tired. Since she was still (for the moment) I took some pics.

~Michlyn