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Once upon a time a scared little girl on the other side of the world lost everything.
Years later, God would collide our worlds into "FAMILY"
Together, we would face the brokenness that had become our life.
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Finding HOPE in the brokenness of this world, however, takes much patience & perserverance.
Seeing the effects loss & hurt has on our youngest daughter is heart breaking.
Adoption is one of the hardest things I've ever been a part of...
T. has lost through death, poverty, seperation & abandonment.
She lost the ability to be a "child", an innocent child protected from the bad things around her.
She knows fear & uncertainty!
The trauma has equipped her with the need to take care of herself.
And has convinced her no one is trustworthy!
She has built a wall, a strong coarse wall!
When I come too close to those "protected" places, I am met with painful abbrasions - like your body connecting with a rough, pitted, unfamiliar surface... it stings :(
T is guarded... I am pushed back & rejected!
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T. is a surviver ... a God given strength that most definitely aided in her becoming my daughter.
When she's in survival, I find myself struggling to be the mom to T. that I know how to be.
The available & familiar love I have for my children is NOT received by T, it's not even what she needs at this time.
T is unable to accept love-like I long to give to her :(
So I am striving to learn a new way to love T.
(and I will ... slow but sure)
Different from what I know, but better for both of us.
~LOVE is giving our child what she can receive~
It's not about me!
It's about becoming who God created me to be, despite how I thought it would look.
And letting God love T through me.
Once again, I'm holding ever so tightly to God's promises of HOPE.
"For I know the plans I have for you"' declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
It's not an accident I am T's momma... I believe it's all part of His divine plans for my life - For each one of our lives :)
His plan to give us HOPE and a future!
God's plans for us promise to be greater than anything we could dream of for ourselves.
He knit this FAMILY together for His glory!
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A sweet friend reminded me just today,
"God chose you, out of millions of other momma's, to be her one and only. And God doesn't make mistakes. He will refine you and grow you, while He heals her."
T has lost much, all that once felt safe and familiar.
Today, we pray for HOPE to fill her heart!
For trust to be restored.
We pray for wisdom & guidance as we walk this blessed & difficult journey... For redemption!
Moment by Moment!!!!
Clinging to HOPE,
Becky
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Resource: Hope Connections / www.tohavehope.com
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