Tuesday, January 17, 2012

calendar pages

It's the second year we have been along side our Ethiopian born daughter during some
very significant and hard anniversaries :(

The losses aren't written on any calendar, but rather on our little girl's heart.

The time of year her world turned upside down, more than once is NOT consciously known but SO obviously felt in the very core of our daughter.

Everything changes for a span of time...

Goes backward!

Trust that seemed to be building, slips away and is replaced with intense grief, anger,
and a need to once again depend solely on herself.

Long before we ever saw her precious littel face or knew she would one day be our daughter...

A tiny little girl on the other side of the world experienced loss & pain far greater
than many do in a long life time.

Hurts, I was not there to comfort her through and still can't take away.

But she is a daughter to the King and He holds her heart in his hands-
He is able to give her healing and has divine purpose for every part of her life.


I believe without a doubt ADOPTION is God's heart.

"In love he predestined us to be adopted as His sons and daughters through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:5

Adoption is wonderful and beautiful!

Adoption is also painful and one of the hardest things I have ever been a part of!

Our daughter remembers her birth family - misses them with everything in her!
And can't truly grasp the blessing of a forever family, when her first family wasn't forever.

I imagine it could take many years before she will begin to trust we are her "forever family" and won't ever give up on her!

So once again as we turn the pages of our calendar, 

our daughter, who came to us through God's miracle of adoption, grieves!

I wish it didn't have to be...

But as we walk this path before us, we cling to God's promises to each of us.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

One step at a time ... One day at time... Moment by moment

Prayerfully His,


J Blake said...

Becky, you are an amazing Momma. I love walking alongside you in this journey and learning so much. You continue to gracefully allow God to love your daughter through you. Hang in there and lean on Him for your strength. Love you.

Candi said...

Becky, I <3 you! It's so amazing how God has put just the right little girls in each of our lives and keeps on faithfully equipping us to walk alongside them. You are such a source of strength and encouragement for me.

The dB family said...

Becky, this brought tears to my eyes! We haven't reached the one year anniversary yet and our girls are quite different from your precious little girl. I often wonder if the grieving is yet to come with these three. Mostly they just seem to embrace life! It's not a breeze by any means, we have lots of other issues to deal with, we just haven't had to deal with the grief or anger.

Lifting you and T up as you cross another milestone.