miXed messages

I recently shared what an encouragement receiving a text can be for me :)

I'm touched when a friend will take time to say hi & send an uplifting word or two.

I received another one of those kind messages this week...

Except this time, I let the words get "miXed up"

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Let me back up just a little here;

Our first four children attend a Charter School- that now has a nearly 2,000 student waiting list.

We were part of that waiting list when the big girls were new school-agers.

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 God opened the door to attend back in 2009, when there was a 6th grade opening for E, mid year.

E started a new school that November with courage & bravery that made us so proud!

With one student in, our other children were placed on the "much shorter" sibling lists.

It was just this Fall ALL of our children were finally included on class lists.

yippee!

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But last Spring "pre-school" proved to be too hard for our T.

Home just 5 months before starting part-time Preschool.

The time away from Momma & in the company many outsiders, sent our little girl into SURVIVAL!

She lost me ... And was trying to take care of herself, in a way she knew too well ...Pushing & shoving away anyone or anything that interfered with her doing so. :(

After seeking post adoption council & much prayer,

we made the very hard decision to bring T back home.

Putting our focus on "teaching" T. how to be in a family first.

Step by step,

we CONTINUE to give & teach how to:

trust.

feel safe.

be kind.

  show & receive respect.

understand boundaries.

have self control.

LOVE.

This is just a small glimpse of the "attachment therapy" we diligently work on.

So the 2011-12 school year began, and we decided to keep our little T home.

Not an easy decision for sure...

Our school is beautifully diverse with many multi-cultural families.

I was giving up snippets of free-time & volunteer opportunities.

It would just plain be different from what we once imagined it would be.

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And though some days are better than others,

We are right where we need to be!!!!

Making progress!

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So when I received a text reminding me of the deadline date to include T. on the sibling (waiting) list again for next year...

I read it & got all miXed up!!!

I couldn't remember why we decided to be home?

Couldn't think of any progress we had made?

Forgot why it was I was giving away all moments of peace & quiet?

Or missing out on so many other opportunities...?

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I shared these thoughts & feelings with a friend.

She so graciously spoke truth to me...

We are home because it's working!

We are making progress!

She has grown & changed so much!

The chaos that once defined us has been replaced with a new kind of peace & confidence!

Because being away from me for even short amounts of time, sends T. back into SURVIVAL!

Right now, her tools to function healthily in a family are easily forgotten! :(

Because she needs me to be home with her!

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I am still very much blessed by those occasional encouraging text messages!

I am also blessed by friends brave enough to speak the hard truth - even when it's not exactly what I wanted to hear ... or was it? :)

With A Thankful Heart,

~Becky

A home-schooling, Charter school chauffeuring, Grateful Momma <3

Please know, I DO NOT judge what ever decisions YOU are making for your own families / birth or adoptive children- especially concerning school. We all do what we have to do and make decisions based on what we believe to be best for each of us. God bless YOU, every step of the way!