Friday, March 2, 2012

deflated


It's been another one of those days

A couple things have changed to heighten the emotions around here;

We live in Minnesota, and we got Snow, which really is the first significant snow of the season!

Mostly though, it's been the "fun" kind...

It's nice enough outside to get out and enjoy it,
the snow is sticky - perfect for snowman & fort building.

Due to the icy roads, school was even closed for a day this week,

presenting the perfect opportunity for us all to go out to play in it :)

So what's the problem you ask???

_______________________________________________


Weather is a Trigger


As we experience a big snowstorm here in Minnesota, I am reminded how much weather is a trigger for our kids. Weather is a sensory event and therefore connected to sensory memory, not verbal memory. As intentional parents, we have to consider the fact that weather can trigger that high-alert (limbic) system in our children. It might seem like a good idea to send a kid out to play in all of this new snow, but that's based on our experiences and our nonverbal history, not necessarily theirs. The same goes for the other seasons that bring many weather conditions. Weather is such a sensory experience...all the way from feeling the sun's heat on your skin to the taste of snowflakes and every rumble and raindrop in between.


These last few months have been so weird weather-wise and so unpredictable. So remember that if your kids are fighting you about going outside, forget how to put their boots on, or lose it when they come inside, they may have been triggered and sent to hight alert - a place where it is hard to come back from.

Identifying when our children have been triggered is key to addressing negative behaviors in a way that will keep life manageable and peaceful. If you would like to explore your child's triggers and set a plan in place to address them with specific tools and techniques, just go to www.tohavehope.com to reserve your coaching session

Hope Connections / Stacy Manning / http://www.tohavehope.com/ / Post Adoption Support
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I no more than read the words above and our day was off to a hard start :(

T. struggled to obey.

She became unwilling and unable to ready herself to go outside & refused help.

I found myself in need of many deep breaths.

We managed to get her outside, and for some time she definitely enjoyed the freshair & play time.

(Thanking God for little successes.)

~~~~~

Unfortunately, however, the turning of the calendar seems to be causing much turmoil as well.

I've mentioned a short time ago we would hit some painful anniversaries for T in the coming months

March is one of them.

So as we flipped the calendar once again,

many of us anticipate days of melting snow & more sunshine.

A time of year we begin planning for fresh starts & new life.

T. is filled with ANXIETY, fear & doubt

She pushes loved ones away, as she imagines whats in store for her this month & each month after that.

Trust is thin.

Pain is raw.




So much of this day proved to be a battle.

I felt like a "punching bag" in more ways than one 

...And I'm deflated...

~~~~

Praying

 for brighter days ahead.

for healing.

for restoration.

 for building trust.

and excepted care & love.

So very thankful for loving encouragement & the renewed strength in the words of His truth!

Thank you Jody for your willingness to care for me & my family, in all it's many forms.

I am We are blessed!

~~~~~

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I will delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulities.
For when I am weak, than I am strong.
II Corinthians 12:9-10

3 comments:

Michlyn said...

I have one, strong, smart, and amazing mom! I think and hear if these hard days often that 'T' has. It hurts me, to think that she's hurting MY mom... One person I would never want to hurt. Ever.

You are caring, and I pray everyday that God will give you the strength and wisdom for the day's challenges. He brought us to be in our family, because He knew we could handle it and help 'T' learn and grow in a forever family.

Nothing is Impossible with Him!

Lucky duck,
~Michlyn

Jody said...

I agree with Michlyn. You are one strong, amazing momma of a strong amazing family. I believe that by God's grace and with His help the love of your forever family will help 'T' to grow and thrive. Hang in there Fishers! We'll keep praying!

The dB family said...

Hmmm, I never thought about weather being a trigger. We're nearing the nine month mark of the girls being home. So far they don't seem to be exhibiting any new or unusual behavior that could relate to the trauma of their earlier lives, but as the weather warms, I will be sure to keep this in my head.

I agree with your two previous commentors. I firmly believe that God planned you for T and T for you. Even though you're struggling right now, rest assured HE knows too. You WILL get through this time. (I tell myself this regularly too).

love, hugs, and prayers!
Deborah