Anniversary {21 Years}

Last month on February 19th, my amazing parents celebrated 21 years of marriage! It is absolutely incredible to be one of their kids and get to witness them do life together and love each other unconditionally at the same time. Let me tell you, they are not afraid to show each other that they care for one another and at the same time they may or may not "gross out" 5 other people. ;) 

 It is so important and I am so blessed by them and the example they have set for me and my siblings. In our world today, it isn't very often that you see couples who have been together almost their whole life and continue to share their love. They not only love each other, but they also love us (their kids), extended family, many many friends, and even strangers. My mom & dad constantly put people above themselves and humbly give to others before they give to themselves. Watching the two most important people in my life have such humble and serving attitudes, makes me want to mimic them as I continue to grow.

          

Mom & dad I love you...WE love you sooo much that it's almost impossible to describe what you mean to us. Yeah a lot of days we drive you crazy, and you have to ask 10 times for us to do something, or we're all together in the car and we are so loud that you would probably rather walk home. BUT we know that you love us too and that's all that matters!

 

Thank you for being such incredible parents, setting such wonderful examples for us, and teaching us some of the most important lessons in life. We wouldn't want anyone else to help us in our life journey!

xoxo,

~Michlyn 

In 2014...

Hey blog world! Have we lost you yet? Crazy to think that it's been over a year since either one of us has written here. My mom and I both enjoy writing a lot, so it surprises me that it's taken this long for the blog to get a face lift and some words jotted down.

2014 was a crazy year and time really did fly by! To think we're already 3 months into 2015 blows my mind. Life has journeys and adventures and they all seem to come and go so fast. We can never catch a break before the next thing comes up. But with a family of seven life just gets busy and you have to keep your priorities straight and put what's most important at the top of the list.

Some memories that we did enjoy were:

Celebrating mom & dad's 20th anniversary
Our angel baby, Laura Grace, turned 10 years old in heaven
E & M went to their first prom
The summer was full of soccer games and a break from school
We moved again
E & M went on a youth group trip to Kansas City
August started my (Michlyn) senior year of high school
Mom & I went on my senior class trip to Wisconsin Dells
Finished high school volleyball and that was so bittersweet
I got accepted into my #1 college for this Fall (2015)
Celebrated Christmas as a family & welcomed the new year

In between all of that we fit in work schedules, dad coaching J's soccer team, co-op/adoption groups, school meetings, volleyball games, projects, searching for a house, everyone's birthdays, seeing friends, driving all around to get everyone to the right place, going to church & youth group, and any other possible event that we could fit in.

Thanks for following along for all these years! We'll be trying to post more and keep the blog updated through 2015, as it will be a big year full of new transitions and fun times ahead!

xoxo,
~Michlyn

Looking Back

Blessings,

~Michlyn

From Our Family to Yours

Wishing you and your families the best this Christmas and through the new year!

Blessings,

The Fishers

Memories through Pictures

Hi everyone! Where do I even begin? My oh my it's been a long time since I've posted. I was looking back at some of our last posts and I think it's time to look back on all that has happened in the last couple months!

Our family isn't always busy but when there are 7 people in the family, it can be pretty hectic with all the different schedules that need to be maintained. School has been going very well for the 4 that attend a charter school and 'T' continues to grow and learn at home. Sports have been put on hold currently, until next month when Erin will start her season of indoor soccer. Christmas is coming up fast, and thankfully all the holiday shopping has been done. We also got plenty of snow that now covers the ground...so it will definitely be a white Christmas. :)

I thought I would go back and highlight on some of the key memories that took place this Fall. :)

MICHLYN

Michlyn finished her volleyball season in late October. It was her first year of being a captain on the varsity team and she will hold that role next year as well. She finished her season named "Defensive Player of the Year" and received all-conference honorable mention. She also was the person to have the highest amount of "digs" (volleyball term) and that 84!! Her best friend 'B' (pictured above) went to a new school this year and that has been a hard transition but they see each other as much as possible. She also celebrated her 17th birthday this year! To celebrate - Her, mom, and Erin all went out for pedicures, shopping, and dinner. :)

ERIN

Erin finished her soccer season in September and it was very successful for her! She made the most goals out of anyone on the team and that was 7! She was also named the team's "MVP" and received all-conference honorable mention. She loves soccer and continues to play it all year round except for the occasional 1-2 month break in between seasons. She excels in school and is especially good at math. Her best friend 'N' (bottom left picture) and her do everything together and they are so funny when they're together. She took her permit test a few months ago with 'N' and they both passed so they can both legally drive with a parent. Stay off the roads around here... :)

'J'

'J' is our shy and quiet one. He likes to observe things and watch from the side until he's comfortable and then he'll hop right in. He played soccer this summer and is so good at it. To think he's only been playing a few years blows my mind because he's got such great control and coordination. School has been a little tougher this year but he's been working hard and with mom's awesome studying help, he's been passing with flying colors. 'J' just turned 11 years old! He got a sweatshirt, sports bag, and new game that he really wanted. It was so fun to see his reaction when he opened them. :)

'S'

As I've mentioned before 'S' is our little comedian! He makes us laugh everyday and comes up with his own cute little jokes. He recently turned 8 years old! Wow that's crazy...I was only 9 when he was born so this birthday really made me feel "old". :) He had cupcakes and crazy ole' dad decided it would be fun to add a sparkler to his candles. He was born on Thanksgiving and we called him "our little turkey" so when he made a turkey hat at school, we had to get a picture of him wearing it. :) 

'T'

'T' continues to be homeschooled. She also goes to a co-op that my mom helps out with and twice a month attends a class called "LEAF Club" (Learning, Education, & Fun). Mom especially loves those days because it's a much needed break and quiet time for her. We were also able to attend our cousin/niece's wedding in October as a whole family! It was a great wedding and we were blessed to be there on the special day. 'T' continues to keep us on our toes but our life would not be the same without her. :)

Hope everyone stays safe during these busy holiday weeks and that you can find time to remember all that God has blessed you with! Remember the reason for the season :)

xoxo,

~Michlyn

Rewind | Time Flies

So it's been a really long time since anyone has posted here and I apologize. But life happens, and you get busy and blogging isn't one of those priorities anymore. I'll give you a big catch up post and possibly some pictures but we'll see. :)

The summer was crazy busy but very fun and memorable! LOTS of soccer, driving here and there, visiting family and friends, and just taking time to relax before school and more sports would start again. The weather seemed really funny this summer as winter decided to last until May. As of this week in early September, it's been HOT.

Michlyn's summer included a job as a nanny with Erin, driving her siblings around, hanging out with friends, reading some books, and relaxing before school starts. She found out some of her best friends were leaving the charter school we attend this summer, so going back to school has been extra hard this year. She is a Junior in high school this year and that's kind of scary and exciting at the same time. That means this year and only one after that until graduation comes. (let's not talk about it) She is playing volleyball again for school and is one of the captains on the varsity team. She is thoroughly enjoying it!

Erin enjoyed her summer with playing lots of soccer, seeing her friends, going to a One Direction concert, having a nanny job with Michlyn, and sleeping in. :) Erin started school as a sophomore this year! Crazy how another year has gone by already...She and her best friend 'N' do everything together. They are some of the funniest and  craziest best friends I know. They are the same age and have a lot of classes together at school, so school has been pretty fun for her so far. She is also playing soccer again for school and although their team isn't as experienced, she does a fantastic job and I don't think I could tell you how much she loves her sport. She took Driver's Ed this summer and plans on taking her drivers' permit test soon. 

'J' had a really fun summer too! He played soccer for the 4th summer and he improved so much! He even got suggested to tryout for the traveling team for next summer. :) He is our shy and quiet one...just tries to take everything in and it scares me how fast he's growing up. He started 5th grade this year. He, again, has a new teacher and was a little extra nervous on his first day, but he loves her. He's doing all his homework and already learning a lot! He has quite a few friends and usually always has a good day! 

'S' is our early riser and loves to play. So more often than not, this summer, he would be up early asking me if he could play on my iPod or I'd hear him in our living room at 6:00 am. It seems he has this un-ending supply of energy. :) He's our little comedian and is always making us laugh...I think him and Erin got most of the funny genes. He started 2nd grade this year! I can't believe it...I always say this but my brothers are getting so big and it's so great to see them grow up. He has the same teacher as last year and likes her a lot! He's best friends with the school Janitor because I always see him talking and giving high fives to 'S'. :) 

'T' is going to be home schooled again this year. It's the best decision for her and for our family as we continue to work on bonding and attachment. This summer, in July, was 'T's 3rd gotcha day. She has been in our family for 3 entire years. Although adoption was one of the hardest things we've ever done, we know that God put her in our family for a reason. He only knows when each step will get easier. Neither adoption or parenting is easy though and we're putting our faith in him to help us teach and help 'T' to grow and learn. 

I promise I'll be back sooner than later next time! Thanks to all our friends and family that read along on our family's journey. :)

xoxo,

~Michlyn

3 Years

It's been 3 years since we brought 'T' home! (last week) It's been 3 years since we've been on this crazy journey that God chose us for. Although it hasn't been easy, we've been so blessed to have friends, family, and strangers support us and pray for us.

Happy 3yr Gotcha Day 'T'!

Blessings,

~Michlyn

She's Married!

Our big sister/oldest daughter got married last Saturday, June 15th. Now you're probably thinking "what?". Well she's not ours biologically, but it's always felt like she was in our family. Josi married Dan on a hot and beautiful day, out in a field on farm.

Their nephew introduced her before she walked down the aisle, and it was just the cutest thing!

They were so happy! I didn't see a smile come off either of their faces all night.

The barn looked amazing! The decorations were all hand made and just perfect. 

'T' was missing, because it would have been too overwhelming for her, but she was in great care.

The wedding was soooo beautiful! It was completely focused on our amazing God and how He created marriage and that keeping your relationship focused on Him will keep it strong. There were bible verses read, everyone sang two worship songs, and then vows were said, the rings were exchanged, and they shared their first kiss as a married couple.

We love you Josi & Dan! We were so happy to share your special day with you!

Happy ever after!

~Michlyn

P.S. Josi was our babysitter until I ('M') was old enough to watch my siblings. We've always called her our big sister or daughter. :) She's been such a great & Godly role model for us.

Adoption: Behind the Scenes

'T' is now 7yrs old and has been home for almost 3 years. Wow time flies. Just thought I'd give you a little "behind the scenes look" on my perspective of our adoption experience so far.

The first thing people see is a beautiful, spunky, & innocent little girl that is part of our family. If meeting someone for the first time, they ask her a lot of questions and just say how cute she is. The thing is...they don't know.

They don't know how hard our daily life can actually be.
They don't know how much trauma and hurt she's gone through.
They don't know how different everything was before.


Adoption is a miracle. It brings kids home from all over the world. And everyone who brings a child(ren) home always have different situations. Some are good, some are not so great, and others are rough.

Ours has been rough. Because behind that little girl with crazy curly hair, and a smile that could trick even the wisest person...Is a daughter of our King who is broken. Completely and utterly shattered into thousands of pieces.

The pieces of trust, love, connection, joy, security, and hope are missing. They were missing before we even laid our eyes on that very first picture of her. She doesn't have these problems because she was adopted, but because she was abandoned. In some way, shape, or form. That's why these pieces are missing.

And as I see the tantrums, tears, and hurt through her...I see more than just my broken sister. I see how she sees herself. I see how she thinks she should be treated. It's the hardest thing I've experienced.

Mostly I just want to cry at the hardship of it all and sometimes I want to laugh at the craziness God put into our lives.

The patience my parents have. The wisdom of therapists, friends, & prayer warriors. The protection and grace of our Savior.

It's all just a gigantic huge mess. Sometimes a bad mess. Sometimes a good mess.

When people don't understand our situation and chat and smile with my sister. I just want to scream. Because she barely does that with us. We should be the ones giving her the love, patience, and lessons of life and get a smile. But that's rare. And I just want to tell that person how they don't understand. How incredibly hard we try to make progress and teach her every. single. day.

1 yr. 2 yrs. 3 yrs.... Those walls around her heart have been falling a lot slower than we ever expected. Everything isn't hard of course. She's grown so much and learned quite a bit. But when survival kicks in from past memories or something triggers...we start sliding down instead of climbing up. And each step is going to be work & worth it.

This is exactly how we live without pretending. We show her the best we can and hope & pray that things will get better. I don't know who will truly understand this, but I hope it makes you think a little differently if anything at all.

I just needed to say this. And Jesus is faithful.

~Michlyn

P.S. I'm doing a series on my personal blog called "Live without Pretending". I've done a couple more posts and will continue for the next week or two. To see the list you can click here and scroll down. Thanks!

On Technology, Spring, & School

Well hello there strangers...it's been quite a while!

I don't remember the last time it's taken me this long to blog. So I'm here to give you a little update.

In the last 2 months our computer has crashed 3 times, and our internet has also gone out for a few days.

Our technology life wasn't really helping with the blogging anyway. :)

Spring really is coming believe it or not. Snow is almost melted, temperatures are in the 50's, and we're even seeing the sun a little longer than normal.




We are in the last 2 months of school. Crazy how time flies when you're having fun. Yes, school is usually fun for the 4 of us. :)

Michlyn - Finishing up her sophomore year in high school. Has made some great memories, including driving the other 3 siblings to school almost everyday. She's enjoyed volleyball, watching the guy's basketball games, getting to TA (teacher's assistant) for the kingergarten teacher, and work extra hard to keep her grades up this year.

Erin - Finishing up her first year of high school has a freshman. She's probably the most social out of all of the kids. Has enjoyed soccer all year round for the first time, cheering on our school's basketball and baseball teams, often hanging out with her friends, and thinks math is easy.

 



Jace - Finishing up his year as a 4th grader. He has worked soo hard this year on big projects, presentations, his reading, and excelling in math. Mom got to come help at a Valentine's party that his grade was throwing for elderly people and he had a blast at that. He's definitely athletic and enjoyed the basketball and soon baseball clinics that the high school boys help with.

Scout - Finishing up his year as a 1st grader. Our comedian as always has made us laugh so hard we're crying. He's very active at school and likes to tell us things about his day. His brother is his biggest fan, and will often wave to his big sisters when they are eating lunch at school. He's done pretty good at learning new things in math, and is reading! Although sometimes we wonder if he's just memorizing the books instead of reading. :)

Tareh - She continues to stay at home with mom as her referree, teacher, and of course mother. A couple times throughout the school year my parents have thought about putting her in school, but know that it is best to work on attachment and bonding at home. She does her fair share of stories (aka fibs) that would probably not help anyone in the long run. So she will continue to be at home.

Thanks for reading! One of us will blog sooner rather than later.
~Michlyn

Christmas Season 2012

Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas season! Ours was very busy and we're trying to get back into our normal routine. Me, Erin, J, and S have been on Christmas break ever since Thursday and went back last Wednesday. It went by way too fast. We were spoiled this year and can I just say we have the Best. Parents. Ever?!

Here's a look into our Christmas.

On Christmas Eve we go over to my grandparents house and celebrate with my dad's side of the family. 

Christmas Day {morning} we celebrate as a family. 

All 5 of us LOVED our gifts...boys were jumping with excitement and well the girls...tend to just smile and scream inside. :) 

Wishing you all a fantastic New Year! 2013 will be a great year! 

~Michlyn

hole-y buckets!

Yesterday was one of those days that won't soon be forgotten :(

I had an appointment for my first mammogram.

Now I'm sure, for some of you, just that is too much information.

And though the remaining of this post has nothing to do with the actual appointment itself, feel free to read the next line, close the blog window and proceed on with your lives ;)

I am perfectly healthy :)

The core of this post really has to do with the fact that our daughter with a traumic past, knew I had such an appointment in the first place...



Can I just say that "ANXIETY" doesn't even come close to naming what was felt & displayed yesterday!

Oh, there was plenty of it but it was accompanied with so much more raw emotion.

Leaving us an unfortunate day for the history books of our lives.





My first mistake was letting our youngest daughter hear me make an appointmen,t which included a free breast cancer screening.

My second mistake was being too vague about the appointment - leaving T's big bad imagination to run away with her, and I mean really run away! :(

A simple, "Mom's okay" did not suffice for our daughter who has known so much loss,

including through sickness & death.

In a very short amount of time, T was convinced, I had lied about being okay, if I wasn't dying of breast cancer now, I eventually would - resulting in her losing 2 moms.

"And that would be very bad!"

Not to mention a belief that her being bad & unkind was somehow be to blame for all the sadness & injustices in her world.

Our day was a downward spiral of ANXIETY, FEAR, DOUBTS, GRIEF, & PAIN.

Buckets of the emotions were "dumped" out,

leaving us completely & utterely soaked & weighed down!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

But in the midst of it all, I wanted to record the glimpse of

HOPE that showed up.  To always remember the nuggets of progress that were given a voice yesterday...

For T "lossing" is a reality.

It's caused a need to push away anyone she begins to feel close to.

+ #1: She pushes me away with the greatest force - indictating positive feelings toward me.

wouldn't you agree?

Yesterday she expressed not wanting to lose another mom & telling me, even though she tells me everyday she hates me, she really does love me :)

* She said she loves me and her birth mother, her birth mother a little more but she does love me.

And I'll take it!

-----------------

+ #2: I was able to use the days events to tell her again, nothing she has ever done or will do has caused her losses to happen.

---------------

+ #3: A realization, I am taking care of her, and have not left her to her own vices - like she's once known. She compared how things use to be in Africa and how she's beginning to see them now.

Now I know this is not something she'll claim forever or even admit again anytime soon.

In fact it only took a matter of a few minutes before she was she was using her arsenal of insults.

 but I'll take the snippet of hope I've been given.

---------------

+ #4: A reenforced knowledge to when ever possible to make appointments out of ear shot of a little girl who can blow the simplest thing out of proporation. And when said child is in the know of some kind of appointment - lots of reassuring details can not be too many!

*Though I am sure, much like my daughter, I'll find myself mindlessly slipping back into this habit. Reality will remind me of it's neccisity once again. :)

 So even though the day started with a HOLE-Y bucket of emotions, I thank God for the ability to find his blessings in the muck of anxiety, fear, doubt & shame!

God is good all the time!

Catching Up in this Fall Season

It's been almost a month since I last posted. Goodness gracious, how can that be?? August quickly finished it self off, and September came in full force! This post is going to basically be a giant catching up post... Here we go!

We started back to school bright and early on August 27th. We are all going back to our small Charter school, except for 'T' who is being home schooled.

I ('M') am a sophmore in high school this year. I've been loving it so far, and my favorite subject is Biology! I enjoy seeing my friends, getting to know my new teachers, and of course I do learn things! :) I started playing volleyball again this year! I started playing for my first year at school this time. I started on JV, but was just bumped up to Varsity. It's been very exciting, and I just love the girls! This year has been busy so far, but very fun and exciting!

'E' started her first year of high school this year! I know... ca-ra-zay! She got together with many of her friends this summer, but was also very excited to start school again. Besides getting up early, she loves school. She has always been our most creative one, so she loves her art class. 'E' is also our only girl soccer star, and is playing varsity soccer for school. Their team has been learning together this year, and just won their first game! She is always telling funny stories from her day, and keeps us laughing.

The boys are also back into the swing of things. 'J' started 4th grade this year.  He is always a little nervous on the first day of school, but did so well. He was excited to see the kids in his class again, and he really likes his teacher. 'S' started 1st grade...what?! Our little man isn't going to be so little anymore. He has a locker for the first time this year, and he actually gets to do homework. Both of them can get distracted while doing their homework, but they're doing great. They have already learned so much!

'T' is being home schooled again this year. I did a post a while ago on "Table Time". This is something she does mostly all day everyday. Since she has gone through so much trauma and is still having attachment issues, it is best she is at home with mom. Table Time is something that is predictable for her. She can color, do worksheets, she has beads, legos, and sometimes polly pockets. It a way that will help build her trust with us, and keep her world simple. So her every morning routine is the same, and my mom keeps up with her and best as possible - So she's in charge, and not 'T'. As she learns to be a kid again, and to slowly trust us with her everyday needs... It strengthens bonding & attachment. (I will do an "achievement" post on her soon) She also goes outside a couple times a day, and enjoys the fresh air. The routine is definitely different, but we do what is best for the whole family's needs.

The weather has been getting pretty cold already... Actually turned the heat on in the house for the first time today. Most of us LOVE Fall though! The colors, bonfires, and crisp air. And thought I'd end with a picture I recently took. :)

Happy Fall everyone! 

~Michlyn

I ♥ You

'J' made this for my mom.

Out of legos.

Found all the pieces, just to make a little creation for her.

To brighten her day...just because he wanted to.

So sweet. ♥

Blessings,

~Michlyn

You're not Livin' it

We are a family that always makes time for each other. We hang out at home and have fun. Like playing outside in the yard, cleaning the house together, playing games, or watching a family movie. Family & faith come first. Before & during our adoption journey we regularly attended church small groups, barbecues, and family reunions.

People who have gone through or are going through the adoption process, know that it is hard. Of course not all of it is. But between the paperwork, fingerprinting, approvals, fees, physicals, home-visits, etc... it can get pretty stressful. Many people were with us every step of the way, supporting and praying for us. My parents traveled to Ethiopia for 9 days, and came home with a little miracle that changed our whole world.

'T' had a broken heart, and had gone through so many changes in her life. While the first 6 months or so were pretty good, it just kept getting harder and harder. My mom especially felt defeated. It is hard to try and be the best mom you can be, when a little girl is fighting right back at you. When she does things just to bother you, says some ugly stuff, and some days won't let you help her at all. Now, some of you are probably thinking "All kids do that stuff. They talk back and they disobey." Oh I know people! I was no perfect 6 yr old either... but most of this stuff is adoption related.

I've never seen a little child want something so bad. To be in control, and take care of herself. We don't expect people understand, because they're not livin' it. After a little chat with my dad last night, he made me think about some things. Now, we've all struggled with this big adjustment, but my dad has probably has a little more.

He said, "It just makes me so frustrated! I hate how offended people get when we say we can't go somewhere. Because it's the truth. You try bringing a child home from around the world, and see if it's easy. We just can't. If people payed attention, they would remember that before we brought 'T' home we always went to small group, and get togethers. They just don't understand, and get mad at us. Until you're livin' it, you have no right to judge us on the way we're running our family right now. We make these choices so we know that we're helping all of our children."

That's the truth people. We don't say no just to bother you. We say no, because God called us on this amazing & stretching journey. We brought a child home from the other side of the world, so we could help her grow and learn, and to feel the love of a family. All of that doesn't happen in a snap of your fingers. God has a plan, and is the only one who knows the future. So until then, we'll be right here with our crazy ole' family that might just drive you nuts. That's ok with us though... because you're not livin' it. We are.

In Christ,
~Michlyn

I just want to thank the Lord for amazing friends that have stuck with us, and that we have met along this journey! You have no idea, what a blessing you are to our family. I also want to thank Jesus for my incredible parents, who show me what strength and obedience are every. single. day. :)

A Little Update & Prayers Please!

This summer has gone by way too fast! We enjoyed soccer from mid May - early July. Erin & I went on a trip to New Orleans with our youth group, and we've kept it low key here at home. We've gotten together with friends, trips to a water park, sleeping in the camper, & and of course "pajama days"!

Although those things have been fun, other things have not been so fun. 'T' has had some of the hardest days yet. Of course through July, there were some anniversaries and that can even throw her off. Routine is something she needs, because she hasn't had it her whole life. When you live in an orphanage, you don't know what the next day brings. You don't know when you'll eat, and there is very minimal sleep. There is heartbreak every day.

'T' still struggles and will continue to struggle with her heartbreak. Things have changed dramatically throughout her life, and some of those memories will never go away. When those moments come back to her, she gets stuck. Stuck with an attitude that would blow your socks off. It's hard to watch what comes from that attitude. 'T' is a fighter, and she will go to all measure just to win.

We keep her safe, give her what she needs, but things that cause heartbreak just don't get deleted. We let her know what's happening and take care of her. She gets food, water, clothes, a family, & playtime. But she thinks she's worthless. When you've gone through so much in your life, you feel like you don't deserve anything. We love her through the good & bad, but we always need guidance and provision.

Our family has gone through some very rough patches in our life lately. If you can keep us all especially 'T' & my awesome, amazing, and loving momma in your prayers... that would sooo appreciated. We forget that sometimes you can't do it alone. God is always with us, but when you've got the prayers of sweet friends... it's always better. <3

In Christ,
~Michlyn

From our family to yours ...

Happy Fourth of July!!!!!